David was the obvious engineer and builder in our family. This fact was recognized in him at a very young age by my parents. So, by the age of 12 he had a metal Mechano set to die for. I say this, because most of the things he built with it could easily have killed you. See it was not just wussy plastic clip together colourful blocks back then no sir, it was damned heavy metal bars with threaded silver bolts and solid nuts. These items created structures that could be used to inflict pain if they were ever placed in the wrong hands. Anyone now feeling that David hands were the right hands to place them in, has not been keeping up with my stories – have they! Anyway, thankfully by the time David had turned 18 he had outgrown his Mechano set weapons of mass destruction. He was all grown up now and obviously needed a bigger challenge – like designing and building an electric chair. Now why didn’t I think of that? Well, I should have thought a whole lot more on the day I was called into his room with the excited invite of “Hey Sam, check this out!” So, I did as he asked without much thought and sat on the Blue Stool and waited for him to show me his latest discovery. Now I’m not sure what it was he was going to show me because I was soon airborne and sailing backwards over his bed, as I felt an electric current seize my bum cheeks and cramp my leg muscles in a simultaneous jolt. “Yeah, I thought I had the settings too high” were David’s only words as I ended my trip in a crumpled heap in the far bedroom corner. Well, he eventually got the settings right so that only a bum-stinging shock was felt by the other family suckers, rather than the catapulting bolt of lightning that I experienced. Now this Blue Stool became a constant companion whenever we went out to any YFC church youth group function. Most games there were designed around David’s Blue Stool with the contest loser often ending up with bright red cheeks at both ends of his anatomy. One memory test game I remember particularly well was the new couples dating test. The process called for the male partner to be sent from the room while David asked the girl three questions about their new and budding relationship. Where did you first this and when did you first that .. and so on – were the questions. Her answers were noted and then the oblivious lad was called back into the room to sit on the Blue Stool and answer the same questions. David would stand at the back of the chair with finger poised over the executioner’s button ready to activate on any mismatched answers. Folks, I tell you now, it certainly took a lot of peer group pressure to get him to sit down again after experiencing his first wrong answer. Amazingly most boys blamed the Blue Stool for their suffering rather than the cheesy grinning designer standing nonchalantly at its side. Now, if the first two answers were incorrectly matched then the pretty-little-partner had to sit on the chair and hope that her man-hero would save her by answering the 3rd question with the same answer that she had given. Boy, the resultant recoil was not a good look and not a good sound either, with that high pitched screaming but you just had to laugh, particularly when she belted the bloke for getting the special moments and facts of their relationship so wrong. Now I know this discredited electric shock therapy was all the rage in psychiatric circles back then, but I still reckon that Tom could have solved his maths problems with A+B in a single night. All he had to do was just give his answers to Dad’s questions whilst sitting on David’s Blue Stool – with David standing right behind and ready for action with that cheesy grin of course.
