Church Offering Disappears Henry Praised! I will never forget one real miracle that I experienced one Sunday night. No, it was not turning water into wine or the parting of the sea, not even the feeding of the 5,000. No this was a miracle where God made the church offering disappear. Now I know what you are all thinking this is not a miracle it’s a crime. Still, there is enough evidence of Church Ministers still truly believing it’s a miracle as they are shown the door by the congregation. Look this is one church story where the money disappears and it is not a crime IT’S A MIRICLE! Well church had finished for the night and I was sitting in the car waiting to take that long ride home from Coopers Plains to The Gap 50 minutes with Dad or 35 with Bancroft your choice. Dad, the church treasurer, was taking forever to finish his chats with all the good folk from the congregation. He finally got to the car and opens the door with the banker’s bag and offering in his hand, when Aunty Syble calls out, Henry! I have something for you. Henry stops! Another chat, but this time something about a bag of tomatoes. I was not really into tomatoes, so I just dozed off. Finally, after all the God Bless Yousss were done we were off. The 50 minute drive home went without incident. We chatted a bit but I was happy just to doze. When I got home and got out of the car, I looked back to see Dad going through that anxious hat watch – coat, routine. What’s wrong? I ask. The church offering is not here. – was the reply – I think I left it on the roof of the car when I was talking to Syble. I could see Dad’s anxiety. He did not want to join that other group who made money disappear this was a real crisis. For some reason I said I heard a bang way back at the top of the hill at State High. Now why I remembered that when there were so many noises on that 50 minute trip I will never know. Anyway, we got back in the car and retraced our steps. Dad drove slowly and I gazed out into the street looking for Dad’s flat brown bag and offering. I know we had to try but I ask you – What’s the chances of seeing it on the long drive back at night? What’s the chances of it the money still being there anyway? Undeterred we continued the slow 30 minute scanning drive back to State High and Look! There it is! There’s Dad’s bag! and right about where I had heard that banging sound. Dad stopped the car and I ran over to the bag lying in the gutter. It was all broken open and the money had disappeared. The only other thing I could see was Aunty Sibyl’s squashed gooey tomatoes. It look allot like yuck.well you know. As I was packing up Dad’s bag and about to turn back to tell him the bad news, I happened to noticed a calico top sticking out from under this gruesome red and yellow pile. Glory be! It was the offering! Everyone else that had walked past had thought it was what I thought it was too. So the headline that normally appeared on the sleazy pages of the news actually makes it on to the front page instead CHURCH OFFERING DISAPPEARS! Minister praised.
